What Is Domestic Violence and Abuse

Monday, July 13, 2015
Domestic violence is very serious, it can affect men, women and children. Usually men are the abusers but men can also be abused. In children when they witness the abuse. For anyone experiencing domestic violence, the effects is trauma.
And the process for recovery is long and hard. You can recover, but it will take hard work on your part. And you are going to have to want it. You should talk with a trusted family member, friend or counselor. And God is the true healer. So please don't leave Him out of your recovery.
It can and will affect you mentally and physically. No to people are the same and things don't affect you in the same way. When you are experiencing or living with domestic violence you don't feel safe most of the time, and it causes you to have trouble sleeping. Some days you don't want to get out of bed because you don't want to face the day. You start isolating yourself from family and friends. Even your behavior change at work or school. You begin to lose trust in people. It causes you to feel helpless and hopeless because of the shame and guilt. But it is not your fault. It's your abuser that has the problem and needs help. But they have to want to change.
I know, because I witnessed domestic violence as a child growing up, then I married a man, that I though loved me. Then again, I guess, he did love me, but had a problem. And he abused me for many, many years. I stayed because I didn't know any better at first, then over time, I thought I could change him. I could be enough. Now, I lived to help others by sharing my story.
So why, is it not recognized or overlooked, especially if it's emotional abuse vs physical abuse, as a serious crime. I believe physical, emotional and sexual abuse is equally bad. And these problems should be addressed. Most cases is men hitting, punching, threatening and emotionally abusing women. But men can get abused too. It also affects children growing up seeing and hearing their parents fight.
It kills your spirit, causes depression and low self-esteem.
The Cycle of Abuse goes in a circle like this: Abuse - he feel guilty, make excuses - then the fantasy, you get the flower, candy, sweet takes and making love - then the setup, - the abuse come again.
Verbal, physical and emotional abuse done to your spouse or partner to dominate and control them. It's also more ways to abuse the other, like financial abuse, spiritual abuse and sexual abuse.
Abuse
Guilt
Excuses
Normal behavior
Fantasy
Setup
The first step is recognizing the abuse. Once you realize, decide if you are going to leave or stay in the relationship. Please protect yourself and its people and agencies out there to help. Be safe. Love Doesn't Have to Hurt.
God bless,
Denise
Denise M Hardnett Love Doesn't have to Hurt book an Inspirational guide for women in or affected by domestic violence. Release date September 2015.