Getting Over an Affair - What Couples Should Know

Monday, July 13, 2015
An affair is the worst thing that could happen in a marriage. Many marriages were not able to survive an affair and end up in divorce. Infidelity is the most common cause of divorce but that doesn't mean that an affair always have to lead to divorce. If you want to keep your marriage, getting over an affair is possible.
Couples have to move forward and get over an affair if they want to stay married but of course this is easily said than done. Getting over an affair for both the one who had an affair and the one who was cheated on can be very difficult but the following guidelines can be very helpful if you want to survive after an affair.
The following guidelines are for those who made the decision that they want to keep their marriage even after the affair, maybe because they feel that it's worth saving their marriage.
You will get through this difficult phase in your marriage. The discovery or the disclosure of an affair can bring trauma to the marriage. It could make you feel that this is the end of your marriage and everything you have with your spouse collapsed right in front of you. The guilt and embarrassment of the one who cheated and the pain of the injured spouse for being betrayed can be very hard to get over with but it is important to recognize that every marriage goes through difficult phases in the their relationship and this is just one of those difficult phases. Getting over an affair maybe difficult but you will get through this difficult phase in your marriage.
Explore the root cause of the affair. Before you both could get over an affair, you both need to explore and understand the reasons that led you to this situation. This is not about blaming each other but this is about understanding the root cause of the affair. If you both understand how and why the affair happened, unanswered questions will be answered, doubts will be decreased and frustrations can be relieved. Getting over an affair is possible only after you begin to understand the details of the affair.
It takes two to Tango. Blaming each other is not helpful on this critical stage where you are trying to get over an affair. Couples should own up to their individual mistakes and accept that both have contributions to the current situation of their marriage. With this realization, both can become more understanding with each other. Once you realized that you are both responsible for the current state of your marriage, you will become a team again working to fix your damaged relationship.
Willingness to move forward. In getting over an affair, both should be willing to move forward and leave this painful chapter behind. The willingness and strong desire to get over an affair can help couples to work together to keep their marriage despite getting devastated by an affair. If you have the will power to overcome an affair, you are more likely to succeed.
Seek help. Getting over an affair can be too much for couples to handle on their own but this doesn't mean you have to give up. If you both believe that your marriage deserves a second chance, you will exhaust all possible solutions to solve your marital problems. Seek professional help if things becomes really difficult. Marriage counselling can help you get over an affair. Do not hesitate to seek help. Many marriages were saved by marriage counselling, even Bill Clinton admitted that marriage counselling helped him keep his marriage.
Divorce is not always the way out of marital issues. Couples can survive an affair. Visit How to Survive an Affair
For more love and relationships guides visit The Best Love Guide
Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including Getting Over an Affair- What Couples Should Know. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.